The First (and Only?) BBQ at Wenderina's in 2011

It has been a busy world.  But I'm sick of saying that.  Instead I'll focus on the fun and downtime I had over the past few days which could have been made better by only one thing...if Hubby had been similarly able to relax.

When my mom comes to visit I live my life by slightly different rules.  I feel that I need and want to make the most of my day and I actually grocery shop and have a list of possible meals to make.  I actually tell people at work that I will be leaving ON TIME and I do (almost).  We sit at an actual table and eat our meals.  That feels more appropriate now with my protective instinct for the new couch, but still...no tv, just food, a table, and conversation....who knew you could get that outside a restaurant?   And while many a regular weekend includes me putting the stinking blackberry in a drawer, I'm often still in some way or form plugged in to the work week.  But not this weekend.  Mama Lou was in the house and I was off the clock.

On Saturday, we had the annual Moms' birthday BBQ celebration for both our Moms since they have the same date of birth.  As I sat in a quiet moment and talked with the women of the gathering, I was interested to learn that my friend Kir who lost her job in January and last I had seen her (Feb) was in a panic about it, had a new story to tell.  "I'm not missing work.  Not. at. all.  And I'm not ashamed to admit it."  She is filling her days with all kinds of activities, hobbies, reading, relaxing, helping a couple of people with some freelancing, but essentially, just making her own rules and living her own life.  Of course a little money coming in would be nice.  But they're making ends meet.  And she's kind of astonished after working her tale off for more than 20 years how nice it is not to have a job.

Tonight in contrast, I sat with my two team colleagues where the statement was made by one, "I'm not having any fun any more at work.  None."  I'm not in that same place....I still have some fun...I'm driven by the adrenalin and now that we are clearing the MERGER and INTEGRATION, I'm finding the groove again.  But there are a lot of times where I'm pretty overwhelmed by the magnitude of my every day list and the feeling of not making a dent.  Not ever. 

As sick as I am of talking about being busy, I'm also sick about whining about finding balance.  Instead, maybe I'll just try to find moments of balance.  Like my poolside dance.  Like dinner with Mom at a table.  And maybe a 2nd BBQ in the backyard.