Have You Heard?

I haven't. Not really. For a week now. Ever since swimming last weekend, both of my ears have been alternating being open and listening, or being closed tight and ringing. Luckily, at least one is open at any given time.

I don't know why.

I've been using drops to clear them and (not to be gross, but) they are excreting copious amounts of orange wax. I think if it could be put into a laboratory and carbon dated, it might date back to 1976.

The reason I'm mentioning this, is it has created a strange experience for me. Those of us born with all of our senses cannot imagine what it must be like to be without one - to not see a sunrise or sunset, to not hear music or your loved ones' voices. And while I haven't been completely without, it is amazing how even a reduced ability to hear changes your world.

I feel a little like an observer in my own life. I'm actually functioning, but other stuff seems to be happening to me, rather than with me. I don't know if I can even adequately explain. It's like being in a bubble. You almost feel because you can't quite hear right, that people can't see you. Odd. Very odd.

Hubby has often said to me, "Hang on, I need to put on my glasses. I can't hear you." I never quite understood how not having on his glasses equated to not being able to hear me, but I guess I'm getting an inkling this week.

I find myself talking lower (afraid that my lack of hearing might cause me to shout), and people need me to repeat myself. Except on the phone. Where I'm yelling. WTF?

Then, I find that I can't stand the sound of shower water on my head, my brush in my hair, scratching my scalp, and chewing...chewing is the worst. It's like a megaphone is hooked up to things I never usually even hear. The ear is turned inward and it's the most bizarre thing.

I guess I can also equate this week to a really long buzz. Not the ringing in my ear, but the buzz you get from alcohol. Things are slower, fuzzier, a little off balance. Which reminds me of why I liked getting drunk in college, but also why I avoid it now. My faculties are slipping enough without adding alcohol haze to it.

Anyway, if you see me in the next few days, while my ears continue to de-clog. If I seem a little more off kilter than usual, there IS a reason. So cut me a break, or maybe drink profusely and join me in my haze.