Monday, December 14, 2009

Self-Help on an Empty Stomach

This morning I awoke and while Hubby was showering, I opened a little book I picked up on the bargain rack at Borders this weekend: "The Experts' Guide to Life at Home" (hint - this is research for my soon to arrive OTHER blog).

As I scrubbed the crust from my eyes and sighed deeply thinking of another work week to come and all the extra holiday activities scheduled for the evenings, I opened to the first chapter - "Increase Your Energy"

Wow! How timely!

According to this book, " can be acquired through simple strategies, action steps, and power sources." Well, hell, that sounds good to me.

  1. Take a 10-minute Thank You walk - essentially walking while thinking about gratitude, because "When you are thankful, it's physiologically impossible to be stressed." Seriously? news to me.

  2. Eat Breakfast. Duh.

  3. Take 5-10 minute energizer breaths while thinking of "a feel good mantra, such as 'Great things are happening." Ok - starting to sound a little cultish here....

  4. Take a B-Complex Vitamin. Guess that makes sense.

  5. Eat More Earlier. I loved the sentence here that said, "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid with a maxed-out charge card." I generally prescribe to the eat more (period) or maybe eat more chocolate.

  6. Exercise. Duh, but how to enjoy it?

  7. Healthy snacks. Strangely enough all examples in the text are tied to almonds. I wonder if the author owns some kind of nut stock.

  8. Drink Water. Apparently most of us are dehydrated without even knowing it - causing fatigue and headaches....and I thought it was just life.

  9. Have fun again - turn on music and dance around the house...actually sounds like a good time.

  10. Spend 10 minutes in silence. I have to say I spent a little silent time on Sunday morning and was surprised how strange it seemed to me. I'm so used to waking to the radio, running all day with people, machines, traffic, phone calls, meetings, and tv that I had forgotten how loud quiet could be.

  11. Neutralize energy vampires. Has anyone else noticed how vampires have taken over everything? The young adult section in Borders had no books that were not related to some sort of blood-sucking being.

  12. etc. etc. etc.

Well - I decided to keep these things in mind as I got ready for work today. I turned on music instead of the normal depressing morning news show. I didn't dance around, but I hummed. A good first step. I drank a big glass of water and then decided to drink another and take a multi-vitamin (after checking the expiration date, because I couldn't remember the last time I had used one) that was rich in Vitamin B.

Within minutes though, I realized that I had forgotten a step. I hadn't eaten breakfast! And my stomach immediately began to rebel against the 2 large glasses of water sloshing in my gut along with the vitamin (oh and I took a calcium pill too). The sweat began to break out on my upper lip as I tried to apply make-up, blow dry my hair (and no way was I turning my head upside down for extra volume today!) and quell the nausea rising in my throat. Finally, nearing the limits of my psychological warfare against barfing, I skittered down to the kitchen and broke out some crackers. I sat at the table (for my 10 minutes of silence) and began my positive mantra of gratitude.

"Thank you for graham crackers left over from the pie we made last week. Thank you for moving the meeting to 9:30 so I have time to sit for 10 minutes in silence and swallow graham crackers and bile. Thank you, thank you, thank you for not hurling all over the bathroom I just cleaned."

I think I did pretty well for my first day's attempt at living an expert life at home. Don't you?


Anonymous said...

You did splendidly. Actually I think that's all really good advice. And glad you didn't hurl on the bathroom floor.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

This was really funny--I guess you need to follow the steps in a certain order!

Jo said...

Aw... I love it. I couldn't face the day without breakfast. And it has to be a hot breakfast. None of this cereal and milk for me. And I love silence. It's weird. Silence nourishes my soul.

Kate Hanley said...

Great stuff! I'm big into breakfast but after 2 cups of coffee. I think the water would make me hurl as well. And yes, vampires have taken over everything!

Cha Cha said...

I think you totally have this expert thing mastered!

And I totally agree on the vampire thing. Give it up, bloodsuckers. We are soooo over you ...

mkosboth said...

I don't find myself inspired to dance much, but singing at the top of my lungs along with some really upbeat song does it for me every time. Vitamin B and D are essential for good energy and optimal brain functions.