In Honor of the Women's Colony Demise

Last year Heather (Mrs. G.) had asked that I consider writing an article on career advice.  Me?  Are you kidding?  But she was serious.  Unfortunately, the working women section of the site never seemed to get off the ground and as of last week the entire web magazine Women's Colony up and folded.....totally depressing all of the regular readers. 

So in honor of the demise....I'm posting below the original article written for all of those working women who read the Colony...all 3 of you who also read here will undoubtedly enjoy it.

The Accidental Career Path
Kicking and Screaming Your Way to Success
by Wenderina

Yesterday a junior colleague looked at me in blind admiration and asked me to help him chart a career path.

I nearly spit out my Diet Pepsi. CHART? a career path? As I looked back over my 22 year journey I couldn't help but giggle madly. While I can attribute my progress from secretary to executive to a lot of hard work, a lot of long hours, and applying common sense to a world gone mad environment, the truth is that my haphazard career path is all about unexpected (and sometimes unwanted) opportunity.

I began my journey as a temp because no one could figure out what to do with me. I was an average student with a B.A. in English and minor in Psychology. The best thing I had going for me was my 75 wpm typing skills and my experience as a summer intern at Eastman Kodak...yes my Dad did work there, what's your point?

One of my temp jobs turned into a permanent offer. A whopping $16,000 a year job as the assistant to the marketing director of a senior living community. When said marketing director defected to a competing old folks home, I went with her...until she fired me three months later. This would turn out to be the first in a series of forks in my career path, yet it had NOTHING to do with any grand scheme of mine.

After spending a few depressing months in a bathrobe searching for work, I eventually decided relocation was my best hope for a fresh start. A college roommate convinced me moving from upstate NY to the lower Hudson Valley would guarantee me greater income and opportunity. She was right. In one day I interviewed at PepsiCo, Readers Digest, a leading financial institution, and an environmental engineering firm - more interviews than I had been able to garner in the previous 5 months. I got an offer and my salary increased to an impressive $24,000 a year...but my rent also increased from $295/month to $700/month. My friend forgot to mention the cost of living downside.

Since that fateful day in September of 1990, I have worked at that same company. I'm coming up on my 20th anniversary and my (pause for finger count) 8th position within the firm. What a strange trip it's been. It's kind of like living in the same house for your entire life, but having the cast of some HGTV show stop in once a year to completely re-design your living space in a weekend, while you are away, and you just live with the results.

So let's review.

1. Get a degree no one knows what to do with.

2. Be a temp.

3. Follow the leader.

4. Get fired.

5. Relocate your life.

What was next on my journey?
I was partnered with another secretary who hated my guts. Truly. Detested me to my toenails. So she was happy to use her knowledge of the company bulletin board (literally a cork board then) and the job postings to push me into another department. That was my first K&S move (kicking and screaming). Less than a year later, when I had just settled in to that job, I was asked to move to a different office because "I lived on that side of the river and the girl who had the job before you self-destructed". Hmmmm. Again, not my choice, but they dangled a whole $2,000 raise in front of me so I had to go.

Once there my job changed in smaller ways -- always adding more work and responsibility -- sometimes even coming with more money. These people had my number. I hated change, but I loved to feel needed and, yes, I loved watching my 401k grow. Happy in my little New Jersey office coma, I would have happily lived out my days in Garden State bliss, but a big K&S moment was coming my way. I was sued for discrimination by a disgruntled employee to whom I had given a bad performance review and suddenly I found my liberal-all-culture/race/creed-accepting-ass in a sling by a system-twisting witch. No, thank you for asking, I'm really not bitter.

One more review.

1. Get a degree no one knows what to do with.

2. Be a temp.

3. Follow the leader.

4. Get fired.

5. Relocate your life.

6. Partner with someone who hates you.

7. Live on the opposite side of the river as your home office.

8. Get your ass sued.

Despite the preferences of my company that I stay where I was and "work through it" with the witch, survival of my sanity (and her scrawny neck) required a big move. Less than 48 hours later, my desk was packed up and moved back to the corporate headquarters and a new job description was written for little old immovable me. I'm not sure they exactly knew what to do with me at that point. So, I floated from assignment to assignment for a year, finally landing a role when the firm decided to create a new division and I was the only untethered marketing person who could readily take it on.
At this point, I am clueless on 50% of my job, but faking it well...and the division is succeeding. I'm pretty happy. I'm approaching the coma-like state I had found in New Jersey. So guess what? Of course! K&S time again.

The company has decided to re-organize.

All divisional marketing staff will be rolled back into a central department.

Suddenly the organization chart turns into a battlefield. Somehow we adapted the org chart, roles and responsibilities, and when the music stopped this time, we still all had jobs. Amazing right? Normal operations, after some very bumpy transition time, begins to return. But in today’s work environment you can only count on one constant thing. Change.

Can you spell M.E.R.G.E.R.????

So here we all are. Swimming with the sharks. Re-establishing our reputations. Hoping the merger integration keeps us all employed. And this guy wants me to give him career path advice? I guess the only thing I can do is take him through my personal path step by step.

1. Get a degree no one knows what to do with.

2. Be a temp.

3. Follow the leader.

4. Get fired.

5. Relocate your life.

6. Partner with someone who hates you.

7. Live on the opposite side of the river.

8. Get your ass sued.

9. Float until the music stops and hope for a chair.

10. Keep your eyes on the road signs along your career path and watch for merging ahead.

Feel free to follow in my footsteps...kicking and screaming all the way.