Tuesday, March 9, 2010

House Blogging

VERY interesting episode of HOUSE last night with the blogger who was sick.  The debate about the value of connecting with people with common interests vs. recording (and living) your life as a voyeuristic exercise was fascinating.  And in the end, the woman who reveals everything about herself on the internet failed to reveal the one thing that would help the diagnosis because "People don't want to read about that."

I love blogging and I totally related to the character when she said, "I hate that you don't have a blog, I never know what you are thinking."

I've always been more comfortable with the written word than the spoken.  And while I certainly edit my writing and my content here, I'm more likely to remain silent in a verbal conversation because I'm not sure I trust (a) how to say at that moment what I want to say and (b) how to handle the reaction I might get.  I mean let's face it, while I have luckily not had to do it yet on this site, I can just delete any responses I get!  No need to engage in a lengthy debate or uncomfortable confrontation.

Am I short changing people in my life who don't read my blog?  Am I short changing people in my life who are represented in my blog?  Do I edit too little? too much? Do I share too little? too much?

I have one very very dear friend who doesn't read my blog.  She asks me if that bothers me.  I always answer no.  And it doesn't, from an audience readership perspective.  She is and always will be my dear friend.  But I feel that since we don't see each other, or talk, as often as we'd like, that she is missing out on participating in my life.  Her life is busy and blogging is not a part of her life.  I don't feel the need to force her into it.  It's ok that she doesn't know about what was on HOUSE last night and what I thought about it, But, she also doesn't know my cousin passed away yet.  And that's important.  And that may be IS more my failing than hers.  Pick up the phone Wenderina.  Stop by her house.  She lives 1 mile away.  Blogging may be a little bit of a social crutch that I have to work around.

But hey, I haven't got all the answers, and from what I can see, you all don't either.  For someone like me who has long work hours, a shy attitude toward meeting new people (outside of work - where for some reason I'm more outgoing), and no kids to create that mommy network that adds to your community, this has been a rewarding experience.

I get to say what I think - or at least what I want to share about what I think.  Family and friends who read this get to keep up with the big and more often the little things in my life.  I get to purge emotions.  Laugh about little foibles.  Write something down other than a christmas letter capsule of a year or a technical engineering proposal.

I'm ok with my blog approach.  The character on HOUSE was a little over the top.  What about you and your blog?  Is your relationship healthy?


A's Mom said...

I'm still kind of in the middle about blogging. I want to be on top of it, but obviously more important things in life are taking a higher priority right now. I can definitely say it has helped me to express myself more through words. That part has always been difficult for me.

mkosboth said...

I have some friends who I don't WANT to read my blog. Work friends in particular, just because I don't want to have to edit myself more than I already do. Besides, I didn't begin the blog so people I talk to every day would read it. I began writing it so people I know and love but live 3000 miles away could keep up with my life, AND to make new connections with people I don't even know.

JeannetteLS said...

My blog is more about learning to find my writer's voice than facilitating my relationships. In fact, I don't encourage most of my friends to read it. They encouraged me to have one, though.

What surprised me is that the connections made through exposing myself on my blog have felt far more real than some of the relationships I've had in life. NOt than others. What seems wonderful to me is that people have such differing reasons for their blogs--it's a versatile form.

But when I have to LIVE my life here and now, I disappear for a bit. Finding the balance isn't always easy, but when I work on my blog seriously, I find that I have more contentment in the chaos that IS my real life just now.

That made very little sense, maybe. The thing is, I learn from other people's blogs, and I figure as long as I am learning something, then this is a productive process, keeping a blog and reading other people's. If it gets to be strictly venting spleen for me, it will be time to STOP. I was there for a bit and I did stop.

SHoulda watched HOUSE last night!

Chelle said...

I would really miss your blog if you stopped, its amazing how "in touch" it can keep you. I am always telling my family check my blog, they keep losing the link, should I take it personally? My distant friends seem to like to keep up with it. I do have hang-ups about certain people reading mine.

AmyBow said...

my husband doesn't rea my blog. he says that he "lives it, so he doesn't need to read it." That is fine, but I do think even he is missing something. I am funnier in writing! I do find that because of the blog I run out of things to talk about with my friends since they already know some of my stories, but I agree it is helpful for those that you don't talk to frequentley to stay involved in your life. Plus, I think it has helped some family members see me in a new light...

Anonymous said...

Although many of my friends and family know I have a blog, most of them don't read it, for a variety of reasons. And that's okay with me. Still, I do try to write as if they WERE reading it, so I do censor myself somewhat. This is because the last thing I want is to upset people who actually know me in real life - especially if I'm mentioning them! But I love to write, and that's probably my biggest reason for having a blog. The connections I've made with other bloggers have been an unexpected, happy bonus.

Sue said...

My blog is called "keep in touch" because that was how I started - keeping in touch with people, about my son who was hospitalized.

Now, though, I sometimes wish none of them knew about the blog, because there are so many times I would rather work out my emotions on my blog anonymously, but I can never say who is reading.

My blog relationship is healthier than my facebook relationship :P

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I think it is.

Some people are just not into blogging--I get that. My next-door neighbor reads other blogs I've turned her onto, but not mine because it feels too voyeuristic.

Jude said...

That "House" was really good - I thought for sure she was going to be diagnosed with something to do with the computer!
I wish I had the words; could find the topics and the ability to write like you. One of these days I will get back to blogging daily - when I have a house to fix-up...that will do it!