Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Deafening Silence

For some reason lately I don't seem to have much to say.  Not in conversations.  Not at work.  Not at home.  And the end result is, not on this blog.

I don't know why.

I don't feel stressed or depressed - at least no more than my usual anxious self, I'm just silent.  I guess I had recognized it, at least partially, but hadn't realized others had too.  Hubby was giving me my favorite start of the day today - a sweet kiss goodbye that finally shakes me into wakefulness to get my day going.  And as he left he said, "Is everything ok?  You haven't had much to say lately."  And there it is in a nutshell.

I don't have much to say lately.

If I were forced at gunpoint to tick off on my fingers what has been going on, there is plenty to say. 
  • Family visitors coming in this weekend and I'm looking forward to it. We'll have a big birthday celebration on Saturday and the weather looks great for our plans of a casual BBQ setting.  I'm hoping also to finally get to take my Mom to the Red Hat Bistro, a restaurant with a spectacular location on the Hudson River.
  • We are counting down the days for our annual trip to the Cape and we can hardly wait!  Today I quite literally almost chucked it all and had to force myself to exit the highway at my office rather than pushing north to the Cape TODAY.
  • Work is nuts and we are preparing all kinds of international plans, strategies and proposals to grow our business even in this sad economy.  My position is solidifying in the new MERGER organization and I'm feeling pretty psyched about the job. 
  • One of my best friends and best colleagues is leaving my company for greener pastures.  Thank goodness she blogs so I can keep up on her life virtually. But who will I lunch with 3 times a week?
  • Next week we'll be running upstate NY (maybe in the hot new car) to celebrate two of my best friends' 25th wedding anniversary.  I was in their wedding oh so long ago and cannot believe how fast the time has gone by.
  • We have almost completed our plans for our first trip to Europe - Rome, Florence and Venice Italy in late September.  It seems like a dream.
  • Physical therapy continues and according to the torture master (aka physical therapist) I'm doing better - moving from 50% range of motion to 74% in just 2.5 weeks.  But I'm not loving the pain.  At all.
But I'm not really talking about any of this. 

Usually if I'm this quiet, I'm pissed, or maybe a little freaked out, but at this point I think I'm just a little tired and slowing down a bit.  I'm a little contemplative.  I'm a little in my own head.  I'm enjoying reading.  I'm enjoying driving my new car and maximizing my iPod and the XM radio.  I'm working hard.  I'm planning Italy. 

I'm being quiet.

Unusual, because usually I talk too much. 

It's a new way of being.


Anonymous said...

Lots of us talkers get quiet at times - and personally, I find it annoying when eleventy-thousand people then remark, "Hey, what's wrong? You're so quiet!" Can't I just be silent for a change?! I guess not, and I guess that's a consequence of normally being verbose, isn't it?

AmyBow said...

i hear you. i think all of the thoughts in my head are just wearing my brain out. or i just really haven't felt much like talking...

Chelle said...

Being "still" is one of my favorite ways to be, sometimes there is too much noise in our lives!

Ian Lidster said...

Bless you in your quietude and I wouldn't dream of intruding. Sometimes we just need to do that. But, in deference to your husband, I say as a male that men feel threatened when their wives are too quiet. Truly, that is so.

Susan said...

I have been the same way of late. Enjoy your planning and getting away.