Monday, January 3, 2011

Positively a New Year

I don't do resolutions.  Really.  But I do like fresh starts.  When I was a kid (and for about 10 years into my non-student adulthood), September always felt like fresh start time.  But nowadays the time goes by so quickly and everything runs so fast that I can't seem to find that moment when you take a deep breath, assess where you've been and where you want to go, and dive back in again.  When do we ever get to do that anymore?

In the spirit of new beginnings and a new year.  I'm trying one major new thing. Just one.  Just one that colors pretty much everything else I may do and be. 


Hey, I love a good bitch fest.  I love the opportunity to be snarky and express my frustration with cutting remarks and eye rolls as much as the next person, but in the past few months the things that used to be small bursts of negativity that served to cleanse the pallette and not bottle things up has turned more into a festering forever wound that just won't heal.  The MERGER is the biggest culprit here.  And my negativity around this has become so prevalent that two of my staff stopped to ask if I was ok last week. 

So, no more bitching. 

There is a movie quote bouncing around in my head from City Slickers - one of the defining movies of our generations' angst and mid-life crises that begin early and last for decades.  The line where Billy Crystal's character bemoans, "This is the best I'm ever gonna be, best I'm ever gonna feel..." or some such self pitying speech.  Then, at the end, after he's found his direction again in a cowfield in the middle of nowhere, he returns saying "I'm not going to quit my job, I'm going to do it better."  (again I paraphrase)

So, re-engage in forward momentum...don't spin-out in MERGER land. 

So, rather than suck the energy out of my office and my home and my life, I'm going to try going the other direction.  Not quite Pollyanna level, but in essence, finding satisfaction in what I can do and will do, rather than what I can't, and won't.  Avoid those toxic relationships and situations that I create or participate in that foster my snarky bitchy negative moments.  Be a glass is filling up kind of girl for once in my life.

Walk away from the groups that huddle at the water cooler to moan. 
Don't be fake, but BE POSITIVE.

This is no easy goal my friends.  And this will take nearly as much energy as I was sucking out before, so hold on tight.  And when there is humor to be found in the ridiculousness of life, without going TOO negative, I hope to still enjoy a wicked giggle once in a while.  But the full-force negativity has to stop.  It was doing nothing for me.

Seek energy, don't suck it.

This morning I actually made it to the office at 8AM.  This hasn't happened in some considerable time.  It already started off my day with a positive note.  Instead of playing catchup on voice mails and emails and tasks, I was ahead of the game, and have a good portion of my Must Do list already in progress and it isn't even lunchtime yet.  I have found myself dragging in to the office closer and closer to 10AM which is only tolerated because I stay so late into the evening and I'm reachable by cell 24-7....but truly, can you really sustain that kind of schedule for long before people start to wonder about you?

Work normal hours.  Get shit done.  Don't dwell.

I've greeted every person today with a smile and a Happy New Year and have not engaged in any complaints.  Granted I'm only a few hours into my waking day - the first day of my initiative - but give me credit for changing my natural tone and behavior already - even if I lapse a bit here or there.  In fact, I don't think I've done even one eye roll today.  And that's like a miracle.

Facial expression - upbeat.  Eye-rolls - minimized.

There is an opportunity here to enjoy life a little more.  Work on the Yellow Cottage a bit.  Enjoy the international travel opportunities for work and see a little of the world.  Re-gain feelings of accomplishment at home and at work.  Have fun.  Love my husband.  Read good books.  Sleep well.

Take a deep breath.


Jo said...

In other words,


Yes...! I love it.

What a great post. I know a few people I would love to send it to.

AmyBow said...

ummm...does this mean you are cutting me out of your life;)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That "Be Positive" is huge for sure. I remember falling in with a couple of negative people a few years ago and I ended up feeling so drained--and bitchy!

Jane- 2 of 7 said...

Wenderina, merger is absolutely no fun, not even for the take-ing over entity. It has so many aspects it is trying to get a handle on. I wish you the best of luck with the merger. It is probably the most difficult of periods to live through in one's work life. (I have been on both sides of the table- more often as the mergee.) Happy New Year! I love your attitude.

michiganme said...

I have had that epiphany too where I realized that my pessimism was sucking the 'love of life' out of me. Never mind what it does to those around me.

It's tricky because I don't want to be indifferent or detached either.

I'm trying to be more philosophical about these things while hanging on to my integrity.

Kate Hanley said...

I hear you about being positive. I've been working on that as well. It's so difficult but one of my goals when I return to the theater in February is to minimize my time with people who push my buttons so that I can stay positive And, while it might have been the first day, the small victories encourage larger ones. Happy New Year!