Amsterdam Cook-off

During my recent business trip to Amsterdam, we had an evening event dubbed, Culitainment.  This meant hopping on a bus and heading to De Kookfabriek.  Where we quite literally worked for our dinner.

This was only a small portion of our prep activity as recorded by a colleague with a time lapse app on his iPhone (I have got to get one of those eventually).  I know it is too fast to see, but I'm in the foreground in the left side (in and out of frame).  My job?  Placing beets in a criss-cross pattern on each plate.

We did not win the context (boo hiss, the fix was in) despite completing our prep and cooking first for EVERY course, giving up part of our dessert for a table that broke one of their dishes, and remaining friendly and working well as a team throughout the night.  BUT we did eat a fine meal, make new friends, drink nice wine, and have a pretty good time.

Who knew a bunch of executives, scientists and engineers could do this?

Only in New Orleans...

...would the Ritz Carlton mini-bar be stocked casually with these:

Hangover Relief
The Power is in the Fizz!

The Ritz Carlton (complete with lion logo) Intimacy Kit

2 condoms, 2 obstetrical towelettes, 1 package of lubricating jelly

Enough said.

P.S. on Tunafish & Tissues

Thanks to Juicy Judy...I've managed to come down with a humdinger of a cold, which put a small damper on our weekend with Lula...but I've been zincing and vitamin c-ing and nyquiling, and dayquiling, and I see the end of the tunnel already.

But this just reinforces my feelings about those boundaries...damn cubicles...and now here I am at meet and greet central - a conference with 20,000 attendees. Germs for everyone.

You Get What You Pay For...Chicago Edition

DISCLAIMER: This is a totally boring post, but I'm just getting out a little aggravation about budget travel...read at your own risk...

Hello from the Windy City. I'm looking out of my hotel room right now at the grand majesty of Lake Michigan. I can see a portion of it between other buildings and construction sites, and past a major highway.

I grew up on a Great Lake (Ontario) so I'm used to lake being too big to be able to see the other side. When I moved downstate to Rockland County, their lakes were pretty, but they were what we called ponds. Seriously, Long Pond was bigger than the lakes in my new hometown.

Anyway - now that you have the context that I'm traveling, let me tell you about rental car agencies here. When you find a rate on expedia that is HALF all other going rates, be suspicious. And if you've never heard of the agency before, be even more suspicious. But in today's economy, we're all trying to save a little dough, right? So when I saw most agencies wanted $200 for a weekend car rental and one wanted only $73.75...I jumped on it.

To be fair, the car was fine - clean, well maintained, low mileage, hyundai. Finding the car was another matter. We stood on the sidewalk outside the airport for 20 minutes and watched the rental car shuttles go by, Avis, Budget, Thrifty, Hertz, Enterprise, National, then Avis, Budget, Thrifty, Hertz, Enterprise, National again...then Avis, Budget, Thrifty, Hertz..."Excuse Me...," I finally asked, "is this where Advantage picks up as well?"

"Well...yes...eventually...but you may have to flag him down."

Um. Ok.

Avis, Budget, Thrifty, Hertz.....

I get on the phone and get Advantage Rentals on the line..."oh yeah, look for the Fast Trak blue and yellow shuttle, that's ours." (how the hell was I supposed to know that??)

Finally we spot the blue and yellow shuttle barrelling by and not even dreaming of looking for a stranded rental client on the sidewalk. We wave madly and the cop feels sorry enough for us to stop traffic and allow us to get on the shuttle in an illegal loading zone.

Once on, we meet other customers who had been waiting for over an hour...so I guess 25-30 minutes wasn't so bad.

Filled to the brim, the shuttle lumbers into a dark parking lot with "Avi-Star" signs. I spot a tiny blue placard for Advantage rentals in the corner. We head into the building passing a bunch of lounging strange looking young men, under a blinking (think Joe Vs. Volcano) fluorescent lights, and up to the line at to the counter where two very nice but fairly slow people are handing out keys to cars...fast forward 45 minutes and we finally have our vehicle.

Returning the car wasn't much better - and once again the shuttle bus was the big sticking point. After taking about 35 minutes to return the car (which consists of handing in keys and having them check gas guage and mileage - should take about 3 minutes flat) we then walked out of the dingy little shack to see the shuttle pulling away...

We had to wait another 15 minutes for the next shuttle bus to arrive and although we had been left in the dust, this next driver seemed determined to wait for every possible person who was just pulling in to get checked out and get on the bus. Hubby and I were plenty early for our connection, so we weren't too bad off, but I thought the woman in the Chanel knockoff sunglasses was going to have a full out hissy fit at one point while her husband made snide remarks about this aggravation not being worth th $100 they saved not going with Avis. (He took the words out of my mouth.) While we waited, we dug out $2 for a tip for the driver for hauling our suitcases...but by the time we left a new driver had taken his place.

After the driver missed the United stop off (until screaming bus passengers made him pull over) we diligently reminded him of our Continental stop. Hubby, who is always quieter in his complaints, mumbled as we disembarked, "I'm keeping my 2 dollars."

I left Hubby at airport for him to fly on home, while I stayed on in Chicago for my conference. My taxi to the hotel cost $40 but the door to door service was totally worth it. Of course, the company is paying for this part, so it is easier to let the dollars flow.

I'm now ensconced in my room with a view, chomping on pretzel and diet pepsi from the Mini-bar - yeah - that should run me another $20...but you get what you pay for, right?

Three Hours in an Airport

The random thoughts, observations, and actions of a traveller trapped between flights in the Charlotte airport.

Lurking around the gates until I find a seat near a plug so I can work (or more likely play) on my laptop.

Eating really really really bad fast food that I fear will be a bad idea once I am trapped on a tiny plane on my way home. {Picture oxygen mask dropping down suddenly to save the passengers}

Glare at lazy airport workers who have been sitting in the row next to me gabbing for 1.5 hours doing no work and helping no one. Unions be damned.

Make lists in my head. Yes I know I have pen and paper...and laptop...but lists in my head is ever so much more effective NOT.

Contemplate how short shorts can be before they are technically underwear. It seems to be a fine line these days.

Listen to the phone ring every 5 minutes at the gate desk where NO ONE IS WORKING. However, note the gang of non-working employees sitting ONE ROW AWAY who are not

Watch crazy high school girls who are playing on the people mover - Round 1 - walking the wrong way on the mover (minor offense); Round 2 - take airport supplied wheelchair on people mover (minor offense +1); Round 3 - stand like a surfer on the seat of the airport supplied wheelchair while riding on the people mover while screaming "secuuurity" in a bizarre accent (we are approaching a seious offense here) ...they are annoying, but distracting. BTW, they are the girls wearing the really short shorts too.

Hey - I sincerely think I just saw the Geico caveman go buy on the people mover. Life imitating art?

Wish for the 1,000,000th time that I had a camera in my head...or at least a pocket-sized digital so I can record this shit. No one ever believes me.

Is there such a thing as a punk-preppy-gansta? I swear a guy with a mohawk hairstyle (the peak died teal) a teal izod shirt with popped collar, and teal/gray madras plaid surfer shorts pulled halfway down his ass, and an ipod in his ear just rode by. Really!

I'm listening to the airport security announcement for the umpteenth time. Do they really think that announcing that you shouldn't leave your bag alone or carry unknown bags onto a plane really makes us safer?

CRAP! Wonder why I can never find the undo button after I've deleted half my blog entry.

Notice 8 Latin goofballs laughing hysterically and acting a little crazy - yeah - I think they are going to be getting on my plane. Fun.

A man walking by with a backpack is "clinking" with every step. It reminds me of the sound my mess kit used to make when I was a campfire girl. Wonder what he has that makes that noise?

Geico caveman just walked by again...no lie...he looks just like the guys in that commercial.

Who ever decided to add flashing lights to kids sneakers? Do they have a purpose? Are they so 4 year olds who might be jogging in the dark can be seen by drivers?

How can women travel in spaghetti strap tops, short shorts, and thong sandals? Don't they freeze to death on the plane? O.K. so I'm wearing sandals, but I also have on long pants, a sweater, and a wrap and I'm cold. Is it simply because their hotness (as in Whoa Hot Mamma), translates into true heat?

Plane is boarding. Woo hoo!

In the Airline Industry, Time is Relative

Once again, I'm in airport hell. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to fly if it's dangerous. I just wish there was a way to get a definitive answer on WHAT TIME???? I love the - "A friendly announcement: We have a 2 hour delay, but DON'T LEAVE THE GATE because we could change it at any moment, load the plane and take off without you. "

Great.

I've been getting automated calls/emails from Continental that keeps conflicting with info I'm getting at gate...which one do you trust? I think it is a concerted effort to keep us all unbalanced so we don't rush the desk. All I really want to rush is the airport bar or cafe, but I CAN'T LEAVE THE GATE!

Basically, I keep re-learning this lesson:
When it comes to air travel and the air industry as a whole,
time is relative.

Good News: There are actually timepieces out there
for the people who live on relative time.

Watch #1: Time is Relative Watch

On line ad promotion: "This watch spits in the face of convention. It grabs hold of the norm and flushes it down the toilet of conformity. And it tells time, too. Unlike every other timepiece ever made, this watch has numbers that are in constant motion. The hands of the watch reflect the actual time of day, but the numbers march to their own drummer. (We haven't opened a watch yet, but we're pretty sure a miniature drummer is inside there.)

The Relativity Watch comes in an attractively normal gift box. It has a genuine leather band and an accurate Japanese quartz movement. (If you ever held a piece of Japanese quartz, you know how accurate it is.)

Surely, by this time, we've convinced you to purchase a Relativity Watch. You don't even realize it, but this is the 29th time you have read this page. You're caught in an endless time warp that loops you back to the moment you pressed the button that took you to this page.

The only way to break the cycle is to purchase a Relativity Watch. If you don't you're doomed to read this ridiculous page for the rest of eternity. Sure, you laugh. Just like you did the previous 28 times you read this."

Watch #2: The NOW Watch.

Signals Catalog item description: "Look no hands. A watch for those who live in the moment, this is a manifesto, not a timepiece. Wheels, pins, pivots, and jewels have been replaced with sand and a stone etched "NOW." The battery never needs replacing because there isn't one."

Watch #3: Einstein Time Is Relative Watch

I have no photo of this...it no longer seems to be available. But I purchased it once for a friend who was notorious about time management. He would leave for a quick errand to the corner store and come home 4 hours later. No calls, no apologies, no clue. We bought this watch because we laughed hysterically when we saw the face which said 1ish, 2ish, 3ish and thought immediately of this friend. He opened the gift on Christmas Eve...and was totally puzzled, "I don't get it." We laughed even harder.

So, gentle readers, if you know of any road warriors in your life, you might want to consider one of these watches as a timely holiday gift. It may help them decipher the airline schedule a little better.

But just so you know. The Relative Time Watch is out of stock. They anticipate getting it back in on the 25th...or maybe the 29th...or maybe after first of year...(I think we need a relative calendar too).