Holy Holy Holy

Today I attended ANOTHER funeral. I seem to be "of an age" where this occurs more and more. Now, those of you who have read some of my blog, or seen my replies to my linked blogs when religion becomes a topic know I'm a little anti-organized religion.

Hey, don't get me wrong. If that is what gets you through a tough day, week, month, year - God Bless (ha). But I am having a hard time finding any of the peace I used to find in a simple church service. I get caught up in the hypocrisy, the commercialization, the subliminal messages, etc.

Today, for example, I attended a Catholic funeral mass. Now Catholicism is a funny thing. No offense should be taken by any of you devout Catholics out there. There is quite a lot of beauty in a Catholic service. Steeped in tradition and in ceremony, it can be very moving. But I have to say, congregations don't seem to stop and smell the roses much in these services...I mean you guys have got assembly line communion down to an art. I keep thinking if they can find a way to serve the "host" on a conveyor belt to get through it quicker they will. Geez. And those memorized responses! Nevermind that those of us not raised Catholic have no idea when to sit, stand, or kneel, but then you spit out those responses at like 200 words/minute so I can't even understand what is being said? I looked up some of the responses once, and they were beautiful! Like poetry....but without cadence or emotion, you could be reading me a grocery list!

Now, on top of this, there was only about 2 minutes spent on the person who died. I mean, this could have been anyone's funeral. If there hadn't been a picture of her on the front of the program I wouldn't have known if I was in the right church. And why, oh why, does the priest feel that a funeral mass is the right place to lecture people on their religious habits? Aren't we supposed to be celebrating a life? saying good-bye? forgive and forget? I really don't need to have someone tell me that if I participate in more church activities I'll have a quicker route to heaven than those who don't. Seriously.

As I sat in the church and listened to Ave Maria (great music of faith is I find as close as I get to a real religious experience), I looked up at all of the icons - Christ on the cross, Mary in her alcove, the many stained glass depictions of religious scenes. And I wondered, really, does God look down on us from heaven and just wonder...HOW THE HELL DID THESE PEOPLE GET THIS SO WRONG???? They are so embroiled in ceremony and memorized scripts...not to mention totally high on the incense (What is THAT all about anyway?) that they've forgotten the basic teachings of the "christ" (or if you prefer prophet) Jesus.

Let's just try to boil religion down to the following:

1. Be good to one another. You don't really have to LOVE your neighbor. Just treat them as if you did. And if you do something bad to someone - don't ask God or your priest for forgiveness or penance - ask that person. Seriously.
   
2. Be honest. Don't lie or cheat. Really, this is just basic respect and responsibility.
   
3. Care for those weaker than you - children, elderly, family, friends, strangers. Just give a little back.
   
4. Try to leave the world a better place than you found it.
   
5. Take a little time every day to find a moment of happiness and gratitude for your life. Give a shout out to your god, goddess, or - if you prefer - your family or friends, and express this moment to them.

That's it. That's my religion*. Anybody wanna join?

*Offer is subject to the following terms: No membership fees or requirements. No newsletter. No ceremony. No memorization. No special holidays. No gifts. No returns. No iconography. No statues. No pulpits. No leaders. No followers. No theme music. No preaching. Absolutely no hypocrisy. Maybe a little judgment here and there. Sarcasm and swearing allowed. Eye rolling required.