Jet-setting

One of the things people think is glamourous about my job is business travel. Um...yeah...let's review the typical business trip.

1. Packing. Have to lug heavy briefcase with all possible assignments, giveaways, laptop, power cords, network cords, brochures, and backup materials needed. Not to mention having several business suits, blouses, shoes, accessories, and evening wear for client entertainment all in one handy carry-on size bag. If you need to check a bag see item 5.
   
2. Security. Have to find a way to gracefully yank out the laptop at security without tumbling all other contents onto the conveyor belt...and then have to find a way to SHOVE it back into the bag after x-ray without destroying all other material stored in bag. Oh, and this 4 oz liquid restriction thing for carry-ons?...bite me.
   
3. Delays. Let's not even talk about mechanical problems, weather delays, crew shortages, and other fun things that tend to delay at least 50% of all trips.
   
4. Airplanes. I hate all aeronautic engineers purely for their interior space design. No such thing as leg room anymore. I'm nearly 6 feet tall...I'd like to arrive at my destination just once without bruised knees and a prickling sensation in my feet from lack of circulation. Last week a guy in front of me pushed his seat back and bonked my nose...truly...
   
5. Destination: Luggage? No Luggage? It's a crap shoot.
   
6. Hotel: Internet access - dicey at best. Cleanliness - usually looks ok but did you see all those Dateline specials with the blacklight camera???? Last week I arrived late at the hotel and lucked into an all smoking floor. My father died of lung cancer...so ashtrays in my room?? - not a good thing. FYI - for all you smokers out there. PLEASE ... SERIOUSLY ... Febreeze (which was the hotel service desk solution to my complaint) only helps the space smell like a scented ashtray. (Sorry...but it's true)
   
7. Itinerary: Usually early AM meetings with colleagues. Followed by AM meetings with clients. Then go go go go go for bulk of day. Don't forget client entertainment dinners, and post dinner wind-down with colleagues (if you're lucky). Meals - good but heavy on the red meat and wine...not to mention having to make conversation with strangers and hope that there will be a 5 second interval where you can subtly pitch your company to make all this travel and expense worthwhile.
   
8. Clients: If I could figure out a way to consult without clients I'd be a happy consultant. Tonight I had a client harass me for my political views, pick on my favorite sports team, criticize my company website because it didn't have a complete listing of every employee and their direct dial number, blame me for our switchboard operator's inability to transfer a call, belittle my efforts to fight global warming ("how did you get to the conference today? your flight burned through every bit of good your fluorescent bulbs have saved"), and this all before the entree was served. A fancraptastic time was had by all. (thanks for that word Shari!)
   
9. Sightseeing: Ba ha ha ha!!! Face it - to the business traveler, this is City X. You get to see airport, convention center, hotel, local office, MAYBE a nice restaurant, and that's it. Taxi ride to and from airport is your sightseeing tour. Enjoy it.
   
10. Return to Item 1 for return trip scenario.

So because this what I experience when I travel for work, I have a persona - let's call her TW (travel wenderina) who can be a bit of a bitch to live with in the days leading up to a travel assignment.

Note: travel for work = stress at home.

My husband has unlimited patience with me. It's true. We've discussed it. He does NOT have unlimited patience as a regular characteristic. But for some reason...with me?... he's wired for it. THANK GOD!

Proof:

Me (blackberry email to Hubby): Much less energy in class today, but made it through....Anyway, I'm at LGA and just waiting to board...Love you. Sorry if I was grouchy TW this morning. Gotta kick that girl to the curb someday.

Hubby (blackberry return mail to Me): I like every version of you! Love ya.
P.S. I am working on {x, y, z} before I make more cookies.

How awesome is my hubby?
And I'm not just saying that cuz he reads my blog (hi luv...miss ya!)