Best Thanksgiving Recipes EVER

I promise.

I know I can't cook.

But these are the recipes I contribute to Thanksgiving EVERY year and no one dies...in fact, they are usually a hit. The apple bread goes very quickly. The spiced cranberry relish is to die for. And if you're looking for an alternative to the Yam and marshmallow dish - the Sweet Potato Casserole is yummy.

Spiced Cranberry Relish
Ingredients:
1 package (12 oz) fresh or frozen cranberries
1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup orange juice
2 tablespoons raspberry vinegar (or 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar)
1 2-inch piece stick cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 cup coarsely chopped walnuts (optional)

In medium-sized saucepan, combine berries, raisins, sugar, orange juice, vinegar, stick cinnamon, ginger and allspice. Bring quickly to a boil; lower heat. Simmer, stirring occasionally; until berries pop and mixture thickens, about 20 minutes. Remove from heat; cool. Chill. Just before serving, remove stick cinnamon and stir in walnuts. Makes 2-1/2 cups.

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Senator Russell Sweet Potatoes
Ingredients (Casserole)
3-1/2 cups sweet potatoes (usually 6-7)
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup butter (softened)

Ingredients (Topping)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup butter (softened)
1 cup chopped pecans

Bake sweet potatoes in skin at 450 degrees for one hour. (Or do them in the microwave following your manufacturer's instructions.) When done, scoop potatoes from shell and mash. Combine with sugar, eggs, vanilla, milk, and butter. Mix until smooth. Place in casserole dish.

In separate bowl combine topping ingredients. Place on top of casserole. Cover and bake at 275 for 40 minutes. Uncover, and continue baking for 10 more minutes.

Recipe serves 10-12 people. (not at my house...but we're sweet potato fiends)

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Apple Bread
Note: can make in loaf pan, but I also have put into a bundt pan and served as cake.
Ingredients
3 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon (I often add extra)
3 cups flour
3 cups diced apples (with or without skin - granny smith are best)

Mix together eggs and oil. Add sugar and spices. Slowly stir in flour. Then add diced apples.
Bake at 300 degrees in greased loaf pan or bundt pan for 90 minutes or until fork comes out clean. Remove immediately from pan and sprinkle top with sugar. Wrap in foil.

Excellent sliced as sweet bread option on table, or served as warmed slices with vanilla ice cream.

Serves 10-12.

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Give it up. Your mouth is watering right? Mine too.

Fashion Faux Pas

Today I wore all brown...and I looked like shit.


Dressing all in one solid color is not unusual for me. But the classy monochromatic look I was going for was seriously hampered by my bad execution.

• Faux Pas #1: I couldn't find any stockings or brown tights. So I wore brown socks. Hubby's brown socks to be precise. Um. Yeah.

• Faux Pas #2: Brown socks don't really go well with heels. So I wore these scuffed up brown flats that look like men's loafers. Can you say Fashion Don't?

• Faux Pas #3: My brown pants don't fit. I mean seriously DO NOT fit. I didn't realize this until I was already late for work and had no other options without starting over. So I wore them. With the top button undone, and the zipper open for the top inch. I comforted myself by eating a package of ding dongs this afternoon. But it's ok - I drank Diet Pepsi to counter the Ding Dong calories.

• Faux Pas #4: My brown turtleneck sweater worked. Except for all the fuzz and pills that typically accompany any sweater I've had for more than 5 minutes. Sigh.

• Faux Pas #5: My brown blazer is just plain old ugly. It seemed like a good buy when I got it. And like most "good buys" its cheapness of style and cut really comes out when you have to actually wear it.

So the best I can say about my outfit today is - it kept me warm on a blustery fall day and luckily the pants didn't explode or fall to my ankles.

I'll live to accessorize another day.

Have You Thanked a Veteran Today?

While I don't have the day off, I recognize Veteran's Day as an important holiday. Also known as a day of remembrance...this is a day for reflecting on the service that so many men and women give to our country.

My Dad was a veteran of WWII and although he was stateside his entire duty, when he VOLUNTEERED he never made that assumption. He could have just as easily been sent to the front lines.

On a recent visit, my sister Jude passed along the flag that adorned his coffin. It is in a display case in my dining room. Today I paused in front of it and said a quiet thank you. To my Dad, to my nephew (currently in the service, having served in Bosnia and Iraq), to all those countless men and women who have stood on the line, so that liberals like me can live in a country that allows us to protest against it.

Thank You All.

Weekend, I hardly knew ye.

Damn. Weekends go by way too fast. I'm increasingly frustrated by the rapid flow of time. How is it possible that it nearing midnight Sunday - and the weekend is gone?

And what did I accomplish this weekend?

Blogger Heaven. I spent about 4-5 hours on the internet this weekend - reading blogs, surfing NaBloPoMo, generally getting lost in the web.

A Gathering of Friends. We were greeted at the door by Mr. B. He captured the last several months since we have seen or talked to them this way: "Let's get through this quickly, my surgery went fine, work is crazy, and my birthday last month was great." Ugh. Glad we showed up with his favorite - a bottle of SoCo - to make up for our "un"friendly behavior.

Making the Move. Today, I met these same friends at a house they are considering buying (Hubby was a little the worse for wear due to the SoCo). Other than the fact that the current owners seem to think that their 4 bedroom colonial is actually a villa in tuscany - complete with pillars, corbels, golden sponge paint, and brass/glass pocket doors, it should be the perfect home for them. I can't wait to see Mrs. B's stamp on it.

Starbucks - Oh the Joy! I stopped at Starbucks on the way back home and got the VENTI mocha frappacino (not the light one!) While waiting, I saw that they have the box gift set of the Listening is An Act of Love book/audio book/bonus book. Score! A direct source for great holiday gift. Plus, they were playing my charlie brown holiday music - gotta love the messages I'm being given about getting into the holiday spirit.

VPNs - the Beauty and the Bane. The wonder of home hookup to work networks. I was firmly ensconced on one laptop, hubby on another, and his nextel went off about 50 times. Much of today was lost to company business.

Holiday, What Holiday? Maybe this is the real story of weekends. They aren't really weekends anymore. They are week-recovery and work-catchup days. Tomorrow is veteran's day. A national holiday. Hubby and I will both be working, our companies don't recognize the holiday.

So Long (Short) Weekend. The clock keeps ticking, getting closer to facing that alarm bell in the morning. So I best get to sleep. Unless of course, hubby (much smarter and already in bed) is snoring.

"I didn't know him, but I loved him"

I am a huge fan of NPR. I wish I could follow it more closely, but I have a hard time with reception in my home. But now with podcasts and webcasts (yeah, I know they've been around a while, but I'm just catching up) I'm finding a way to add more of it in my life.


One of my favorite features is the Story Corps Project excerpts they play every Friday morning while I'm getting ready for work. They almost always make me cry, and they ALWAYS make me think.


This past week, NPR reported that there is a book (and audio book) coming out called, Listening Is an Act of Love: A Celebration of American Life.


One of the featured stories is one of many that touched me when I first heard it.
Take a listen, go ahead, I'll wait.


I hope that in 20 years, we've gotten farther along than this. I hope that we have more sympathy, more empathy, and more human kindness towards people of any background or sexual orientation who are suffering with AIDS.


I have purchased multiple copies of this audio book. I'll be giving some away for Christmas. Anything that makes us all stop, listen, and hopefully love a little more is certainly worth $10.97 to me.

Spotlight on My Favorites

I've been growing my favorites list through NaBloPoMo. If you are on the list, please do not fear my stalker-ish behavior. I'm NOT a stalker.

Ok.

I guess a stalker would probably say that too.

But really. I'm not.

I'm an avid reader and I've turned my book habit into a blog habit which means I must read a blog end to end like a book. I mean I wouldn't read the last chapter of a book first, would I? Hell no.

So, what happens is - you'll suddenly see lots of comments appearing in your blog in batches...starting earliest post to latest...and you may open your mailbox and be like, "Whoa, who's this crazy stalker chick Wenderina???" Well, if I'm still commenting I'm your newest fan and I'm trying to catch up on your chapters.

Hope those of you who have stumbled on me from NaBloPoMo or elsewhere will enjoy this brief "blog review" on my latest favorites.

My Favorite Blogs
60 Piggies: I was first captured by her incredible photography. Then her poetry. And finally by the beautiful simplicity of her stories. She has an elegance combined with an earthiness that is hard to find.

Catch Her in the Wry: Ah, Prairie Gourmet helps ground me in the world of workaholics. She gets the career drive but also teaches me about balance. She has interesting world views and gives great insights into topics of today.

CrazyManJones: My little sister stolen from my home at birth. There is definitely some serious cosmic connection here. Wish I had been in her life when she lost Jadon Riley, but so honored that she shared him with me in her own time.

Deadpan: New blog - found through NaBloPoMo. Wanda captured me as soon as I hit her site. Her subtitle is One woman’s struggle to find life’s meaning and Orlando Bloom’s phone number. If that didn't make you laugh you're not human. And...she calls me SOUL SISTER. Love it!

Derfwadmanor: Another NaBloPoMo. I joined Mrs. G's KickAss Forty and Beyond Blogging Group. Mrs. G shares my love of NPR - which hasn't come out in my blog yet...strangely enough..., has a secret crush on a pirate, and gives good advice on women's health issues.

Flagged for Follow Up: Also new...found on a surfing expedition. This has a much different flavor than most of my blogs, but had some topical info and great video posts, and gave me a view of a bigger world out there that I'd like to see more of.

Glam Granola: Her husband goes by Pedro. She can poke fun at herself. She likes glitter for girls night out. She shared a killer recipe for molasses cookies that I am totally making for the holidays.

Greeblemonkey: New too! Another find on NaBloPoMo. CREATIVE woman. Painting, photography, writing...got it all. AND she shares cool German recipes that are easy enough for a non-chef like me to consider making. Last but not least - she's a U2 fan...oh yeah...you know I'm listening to them right now.

Haley's Random Thoughts: My OTHER lost baby sister. Living a part of her life (graduating from college, embarking on career, looking for love) that I remember so well. Her spirit and humor captures my imagination...and my nostalgic soul.

Jason..for the Love of: That Chick needs no promotion from me. But nonetheless - READ HER BLOG. She is astounding. And she regularly gets like 30+ comments a post. She is "Big" on the Net.

Pacing the Cage: Sheila is an author and is blogging by the alphabet...in order, mind you...and she's up to "V". I wonder if she'll start over again at A when she finishes?

Stephanie's Place: A mom, step-mom, wife with real parenting challenges. I connect with Stephanie because of growing up myself in the 2nd household of a man who had divorced his first wife and had parenting challenges with his 4 kids from that union. Unfortunately those kids - my (half) siblings - suffered a lot because of the acrimonious relationship. I'm thinking Stephanie's story is turning out better.

Temporary?Insanity: Sweet, mother, writer, bibliofile. I bought a book she recommended and can't wait to start it so we can share reviews.

Urban Pedestrian: A little edgier than my usual fare. A good balance to all the sweet family tales and connections I've made. She captured my interest with some blogging Q&A and I totally love her viewpoint on tv, fidelity, and all things Canada.

View From the Passenger Seat: Personal friend and colleague. She instigated my blogging - damn her - like I needed something else to keep me up all night. And I love her. She's a gift in my life.

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These are my current bbf's...

Pinballs in My Brain

So I've got all kinds of thoughts rolling around in my head today...none of them related. Get ready for some very random thoughts.

Blog Editing. Why do some people show editing in their final blog??? I've noticed some people show word cross outs and changes in their final version. Is it supposed to be some cute effect to show the original thought as well as the better-thought out final wording? I don't really get that. What's the purpose of editing, if people see both the before and after?

Adding Music to Site. NaBloPoMo has a really easy tool to add a playlist of my music from i-tunes. I've seen at least a few blogs out there with a little player embedded on their site. How do you build that?

Sharing Your Blog. I know that a lot of people out there use aliases (as do I) and don't share their site with anyone they know in real life. I have a personal connection with one person who has a blog and shared it with me, but only me...otherwise it is locked down tight. Me? I'm a hybrid. I carefully select people to share with and I try to keep it locked up tight by controlling how people I know cross-link me. For example, before I listed Amybow's site on my site, I told her who we knew in common I'd be sharing with. Didn't want to expose her if she wanted to keep it private.

Writing for Me or You? Many blogs get so personal. That Chick is a personal hero of mine (as I've said repeatedly) for her honesty, integrity, and strength. I've gotten a little personal here or there, but haven't really done a lot of inner turmoil stuff...yet. I so admire how some people put it out there. And I'm impressed that most comments I read are pure support and care in response. I know there are some crazy people out there...but I've been lucky not to be exposed to them yet. I like to be fun and entertaining too. But sometimes it's all about what's big in my world that day and it's not always fun and not always interesting...but it's my life.

Contoversy & Offense. I've noticed that many of the blogs I read have some element of faith in them. I created two posts {Fossils, Holy Holy Holy} not long ago that kind of trashed organized religion. I can get pretty heavy handed on this topic and want to be sure those of you out there who have a true and abiding faith, and a warm and welcoming church, know I envy you.

I experienced that as a child. I was once in the church choir (jr and senior) and I loved being up at the front of the church - knowing all the hymns really well because we practiced in advance, harmonizing with a group of people on gorgeous music, listening to a wonderful sermon, enjoying the minister's "children's moments" when he gathered all the kids to the steps beneath the alter to teach them a lesson before they adjourned to the nursery for sunday school. (Kids do say the darndest things).

It all turned sour when our beloved minister retired and a new man came to town. He promptly dismissed our similarly beloved choir master because she wrote romance novels. Not pornography, romance novels. That was only the first of many changes where I started to notice how religion and power and hypocrisy could turn beautiful things ugly.

As I got older, my distrust of religion was fueled by seeing how many cultures and countries use religion as a reason to kill and overthrow governments and generally wreak havoc.

So, if you are one of my blogging friends and you have peace in religion, I DO envy you. Honestly. And I hope you won't stop reading because I occasionally vent on this topic. I do have faith in God. It's faith in the men who say they speak for God that is missing.

Holiday Season. You'll see me talk about this a few times as the month of November and December progress. I kind of dread holiday season. As I've aged, these holidays have lost a lot of luster. I am now totally plugged into the undercurrents of stress that accompany these days.

Yesterday, in the local Hallmark store, they were playing christmas music. Some of my favorites - from the Charlie Brown christmas album. And I started to get in the mood. I started to feel the urge for brighly colored packages and warm spiced cider, lights and greens decorating the neighborhood, and animated christmas specials on tv.

Christmas is with my in-laws this year. I have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws, but it's kind of a lonely day with just the 4 of us. No kids, no extended family. I miss my childhood days where my mom and my aunt used to take turns hosting the christmas day event and it would be a whole gang of us together with lots of chaos, food, and fun. My solace is Christmas Eve. Usually hubby and I do something just for ourselves on the Eve. Something with friends, or just us. Exchange gifts. Have a special meal. Light a fire. Enjoy some music, etc. That? is something I really love and look forward to.

When it is my mom's turn for us to share christmas, the Eve remains my favorite. We go to a church where my friend sings and then to my best friend C's house for a post church evening with her and her family. We grew up like sisters - best friends living across the street from one another - and I totally love her. I probably get to see her maybe once or twice a year...and I treasure the time.

I'm going to try and finish my holiday chores early. Decorate my house (I only do that about once every 5 years) and get INTO it this year. I'll keep the blog up to date with my progress on turning the holidays around this year.

To Learn or Not To Learn. I'm totally torn about signing up for my next semester. I have been TOTALLY exhausted and feeling overwhelmed with work lately. Adding another class in the midst of holiday season seems overwhelming. This weekend is the test. I have to really look at the syllabus, my schedule, and evaluate my commitment. If I bail on only my second semester, will I ever go back??

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I warned you that I had lots of pinballs bouncing around my brain tonight. Should be interesting to see if anyone comments here, or if I've put you all to sleep.

Bravery in a Bottle

I was a serious young person. Good student. Quiet. Small group of friends - although I got along with people from any group or clique. But I feared striving for popularity and never wanted to put myself out there at risk of rejection. I did once. I had a HUMONGOUS crush on the star basketball player in junior year of high school. We had been friends for a while before he became the STAR athlete, and I plucked up all my courage and asked him to take me to the junior prom. His response?

"Uh....thanks....but...um...I'm not actually going to the prom."

I was crushed when he refused, but it got worse. I found out that the very next day he asked one of my friends. She was not a close friend, by we were friend-ly. She was actually cool enough to come to me and say, "I think its awful that he told you he wasn't going and then asked someone else. If you don't want me to go, I won't. "

Can you feel my pain and embarrassment?

Of course I wasn't going to say - "Don't go. Make him feel the way I felt." But I wanted to. It was bad enough that she knew I had asked and been rejected. Ugh...one of my few vivid memories of high school. And one of the few times I really stuck my neck out and man it did NOT pay off for me.

Then...I found alcohol. I was a late bloomer to the party scene. But my very first night of college my new roommate poured me my first drink. About 1 splash of Sprite to a glass of vodka.

Did you ever read the book/see the after school special, "The Late Great Me"? All about teenage alcoholism. Well, that was me, kind of. I wouldn't classify myself as an alcoholic. But I definitely used alcohol as a social lubricant for the first couple years of college.

Suddenly it was viable to take risks, be center of attention, act like a complete fool, and not worry about it. In fact, it was the source of great legends in our dormitory: the antics of our gang.

Once, we had an epic water fight that involved spray bottles, cups, and eventually buckets of water. We dumped so much water on one another that it dripped through to the floor below. When we were "called to the office" for our reprimand we couldn't stop giggling. I still smile when I remember this - we were so silly. And so drunk.

Once, I danced and made out with a total stranger on the dance floor on "hell night" (when the frats finish their hazing) and all I know about him to this day was he was wearing a football jersey with "THUMPER" written on the back.

Once, we got so drunk at a pre-dance party that my roommate ate shrimp (including the tail) and threw up under the table at the restaurant. (I at least waited to hurl until I got back to the dorm). Oh. My. God.

People who know me today totally think I'm lying about my crazy drinking days. But I have the grades to prove it folks. I was out of control. Now I had many a roommate crazier than me, which is why even though I was miles nuttier than I had been growing up, my nickname was still "Mom" to my college buds.

Probably because I would always say things like:

"But we just got back from Spring Break, what do you mean you're taking off for Myrtle Beach?I know you had to work during break, but we have CLASSES now."

"You ran up a $400 phone bill? Did you not realize how much it costs to be on the phone long distance every night for 2-3 hours?"

"Do you really want to drink that 21st shot?"

"Are you EVER going to wash your sheets?"

"Are those rug burns on your ass??"

"Mary - there are 12 pairs of shoes under your covers in bed. Do you have to go to bed with your shoes on?"

"Mary - that is not a toilet it's a magazine rack."

And remember...I was usually drunk and crazy too while all this was going on.

In my sophomore year, it was during a marathon game of quarters where we were consuming pitchers of seagrams and cherry kool-aid (ugh...I know...) that I met my hubby. The alcohol gave me enough courage to talk to him and do a little "snogging". But I credit him with all the courage to come find me the next day - sober and hungover as hell - and ask me out.

So, today, I'll down the occasional cocktail, but given that there is usually driving to be done, or work the next day, or some such grown-up responsibility, (not to mention I have a much lower tolerance for the 2-3 day hangover!) I don't get much bottle time any more. So I have to seek my bravery elsewhere.

Maybe hubby can give me a hint as to what he had that got him to come to my room on that February afternoon in 1986 and ask me out without the benefit of beer goggles.

Thank goodness he did.

Public Displays of Affection (P-D-A)

A couple weeks ago, Haley put up a funny post on PDA. I was totally amused and create a rather inspired (if I do say so myself) comment. I told her one day when I needed a topic, I'd come back to steal it, so here we go.

In my opinion (and whose else really matters?) PDA is all about the fine line between sweet and sickening.

Acceptable PDA.
My husband's hand at the small of my back when we walk in a room.

Unacceptable PDA.
Hand on ass. Not cool.

Acceptable PDA.
A lingering glance - eye contact.

Unacceptable PDA.
A leer at my boobs.

Acceptable PDA.
Helping me with my coat and brushing my hair to the side of my face.

Unacceptable PDA.
Catching boobage on the coat change and then exclaiming "Woo Hoo!".

Acceptable PDA.
A sweet quick kiss.

Unacceptable PDA.
Tonsil hockey.

Men (and women) - do yourselves (and the rest of us) a favor and keep it subtle.

Is Reality Over-rated?

So I was struggling for a topic today and then I read That Chick and as usual I was inspired. Chick's topic was about being afraid of being real. Making the transition between blogger/internet friendships and connections into the real world. I'm similarly terrified of this - I mean what if this connection is all a product of the magical world of web and there is no true chemistry when you meet in person?

A Cautionary Tale.

My husband and I had an "e-relationship" with a performer that we began following in college. We were huge fans of this relatively small-time star/performer Mark Rust. He did the college circuit and played folk music (all original) on guitar and piano and hammer dulcimer in the campus pubs and coffee houses and really gave his audiences a great show of good music, great stories (he could never get through a whole song without interrupting himself with some great related tale), and lots of laughs. We never tried to breach the celebrity zone to meet him during those performance, but preferred to stay part of his anonymous fan group. (We're kind of shy like that...)

Anyway, that all changed with the advent of email systems and shortly after we left college and were planning our wedding, we reached out to Mark via email because we wanted to use one of his songs in our wedding. Thus began our e-relationship. Every once in a while hubby would email Mark - and be like "Hey, what's up?...are you gonna be in our area anytime soon?...we'd love to catch a show. How are you? How's the family? This is what's new with us...."

One day the answer came back that he would be performing at a park within 2 miles of our home. We suggested a meet for dinner. Of course he didn't want to come to our house...I mean really...we could be like wacko stalkers. Then we suggested bringing a picnic to the park. Well, of course, he was setting up a ton of things and was busy, but he was gracious and we tried to make it easygoing. But we totally STRUGGLED for conversation.

It was kind of surprising to us. Because in our little minds he was like this great friend. I mean he had been with us on one of our first dates. We knew all the words to all his songs. We totally got his stories and his sense of humor - we were SYMPATICO!

But what we forgot was the performer factor. That intimacy that people feel when following a really great actor. Thinking we KNOW them because we've seen their act, listened to their talk show stories, read their magazine interviews. None of these things have anything to do with a true relationship of getting to know someone. And yet, we couldn't even have the ease of strangers since we had established a certain intimacy and had expectations for how we could relate.

All in all, it was a disappointing experience. I almost felt like I had lost a good friend. But what I had really lost was the ILLUSION of a friend.

What's the Verdict?

So, my question is this -- is reality over-rated? Would I go back and not have a meeting with Mark to resume my pretend friendship with him?

Would you want to take the chance to meet a best blogging friend knowing it could be awkward? or worse...that you really don't have any true connection at all?

Would I take that chance?

To be honest, I feel that if given the chance to meet That Chick, Shari, Haley, Kim, Nic, or any of the other really amazing people that I've been connecting with on line, I'd give it a shot. I may shake in my boots for a week leading up to meeting you. I may bring a cheat sheet of topics in case my mind goes blank when we meet. Or maybe I'll bring my laptop so we can "chat" if the conversation dies. And there's always alcohol.

So what the hell. Life is short. Friends are scarce.
Chick - I dare you to go for it!

Omens and Portents

Email from Hubby Early AM:
Subject: Omens
Text: Is it an omen for a bad week when your blackberry falls off your belt and into the toilet?

My Response:
Subject: Omens
Text: Could be an omen for a good week if it still works!

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Email from Hubby Late PM:
Subject: Portents Never Lie
Text: Such a day.


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Uh. Oh.

Defining Marriage

My thoughts on this movie clip below.

Two Posts on Sunday totally catches me up...right?

I'm falling down all over this NaBloPoMo. Good think I didn't sign up for the 50,000 word novel thing...geez....

Anyway - for the last several days I've been thinking about that good-bad movie, "Shall We Dance". I have no idea why, except for the one haunting thing that I remember from that movie...the Susan Sarandon speech about why people get married.

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

(Glad I found the clip - posted above - Susan Sarandon's delivery of this speech is incredible.)

I've always thought this was one of the best representations of what marriage really is. Think about it, your relationship begins with attraction - physical, spiritual, intellectual - whatever turns you on. Passion joins it and falling in love - the greatest drug on earth. But what sustains a marriage? A deep and abiding caring for the other person. A commitment to share your life with them and theirs with you.

Why this topic on this day? I found myself rummaging through a box of old family photos today and I came up with several of weddings and married couples in my family. Not all of my family has been lucky in love...and several of my friends have hit some rough patches as well. But those magical WORKING marriages (and I do mean work) that I've seen inspire me every day to appreciate my own, and to remember that quote.

I like the idea that I am witnessing my love's life. I like the idea that he is witnessing mine. We don't have children. When we are gone, there will be little physical evidence that we were here. But our lives did not go unnoticed, because we have been here for one another.

Je Suis Finis!

That's "I am finished!" for all you non-frenchies out there. I finished my final term paper of my first graduate studies course. Hurrah for me! I honestly didn't think I was going to make it last night when I was struggling through the MLA standards for footnotes and bibliography...do you KNOW how many years it has been since I had to annotate my writing????

I was sorely tempted to blog last night INSTEAD of doing my paper, but for once I put the right priority first. The trick was going straight to my office from school at 5PM. I worked there until almost 9PM to complete it. I knew if I went home there'd be all kinds of rationalizations and distractions and I'd be up all night procrastinating (which I could not afford since I was dead tired already). I worked by the reward system - a pizza and my bed awaited me when done. It would be guilt free since I would be done. I swear I was almost in tears trying to get the bibliography and footnotes done. There is supposed to be an automated function on the college library website, but I couldn't login or get it to work and although the college was only a few miles away, I was just too tired to deal with going over. Thank God for Google. I found an on-line guide and did it the old-fashioned way.

My reward system went a little askew because the pizza joint actually closed before we could put in an order. Bummer. So it was a can of soup and some crackers for dinner. But the bed was still warm and cozy and ready for me as soon as I had eaten. Then the extra bonus!!!!




No, not that....I don't blog about my sex life....





Daylight Savings Fall Back!! One glorious extra hour of sleep. I cannot even express how much I needed those extra 60 minutes this week. We have been full throttle for about a month now and we were both at the end of our ropes. The pizza thing almost broke us....truly...a pizza...

This work week looks like another crazy one. And the paperwork for my next semester now lies in my bookbag. Ugh.

Wouldn't you love to be a full-time student again, floating by on your parent's dime? (or even on the bank loans...you didn't realize then the pain you'd have after school). My biggest challenge in college was how to get my next 4 pack of Bartles & James wine coolers. As I walked through campus this afternoon I saw so many students lounging around outside, taking in a soccer game, sharing a boyfriend-girlfriend moment on a bench, laughing their way to the college pub for lunch. Ah, those were the days.

I can't complain. I have a good life, and my hubby is a true partner. We struggle sometimes to fit it all in and still have the downtime we need (I am a true couch potato at heart!), but we manage.

And that Fall Back thing...saved my sanity this week.
Thanks Ben (Franklin)!
Excellent Idea.

I'm headed to the couch with hubby. We have DVR viewing to do, fresh-baked cookies to eat, and a sweet couch to stretch out on. Ahhhhhh.......

Technically it's still Friday (sort of)

I can't be failing NaBloPoMo on the 2nd day, can I? I have been a nearly flawless poster when not under a "POST EVERY DAY" mandate, but I already f-ed this up? Not technically in my mind.

Yesterday was insanely busy. I totally flaked on helping my big sister with a resume review because my job went nutso all day. I finally got out at 8PM after making my good friend SDS wait next to my desk for a full hour while I scrambled a script together for a video production piece, and it wasn't until midway through a much desired drink (love those raspberry cosmos at Sam's!) and a few bites of a lovely rare kobe beef burger (TREAT!) that I realized I never got back to my sis. Duh. Head bonk. I called and of course she was cool with it. But I digress.

I only arrived home (half comatose after a week of very little sleep) at about 11PM and after catching up with hubby fell into bed without posting. Now it is still dark out (hate this time of year) and I am up getting ready for my full day of Saturday grad school (ugh) so technically in my mind and heart it is still Friday.

No I won't adjust my time and date and try to flub my way through this, but I trust my buds out there will give me a pass on this one and keep me in the NaBloPoMo community. If I'm inelegible for any stupid prize, no sweat...I've got enough toys as it is.

Off to school...more tonight - anxiety post expected since I have to finish my term paper TONIGHT before class tomorrow. Double Ugh.

Senior Moment

Okay - so this morning I had all these great ideas of what to post today on this first day of NaBloPoMo (another fun acronym for me!) and as of this moment, this SENIOR moment, I can't think of one of them. Seriously. I had some MAD ideas about controversial things to say, intelligent thought-provoking, comment-stimulating, "you so wish you were me" ideas.

Doesn't that drive you completely I-N-S-A-N-E???? I hate when my memory totally flakes out on me that way. More of that damn Diet Pepsi effect, I'm sure.

I could talk about how in less than the 24 hours between meeting with my financial person and committing to the mortgage refi the rates went up. Not a lot, but still... Can someone explain to me (although my eyes will probably glaze over in about 30 seconds flat if you try) why when the fed DROPS interest rates, my mortgage rate goes up??? WHAT. THE. HELL.

I could talk about how I managed to lock myself out of the house this morning and it took me about 5 minutes of aiming THE WRONG KEYLESS LOCK "THINGY" at my car before it occurred to me I had the spare car set in my hand instead of my truck keys and the house key. Seriously. What kind of moron am I? Then, I realized...I left my blackberry/cell in my room. No way to call anyone for help. Luckily, I'm a moron who doesn't lock her house very well. I quickly identified the open sliding door into the patio and got back in to get cell and keys. Duh.

I could talk about how it took me 25 minutes to get to work yesterday and how I left 10 minutes earlier today and got to work an hour later. Sigh.

I could talk about my adorable great-nephew and ooh and aah over his Halloween costume (He's Roo from Winnie the Pooh...isn't that the cutest???).

I could talk about how annoying it is to be sitting at work when the cleaning crew comes through and having to listen to the vacuum cleaner while you are trying to complete your work (or do your blog)...whatever...

I could talk about how totally unbelievable it is that it is NOVEMBER 2.0.0.7!!!! Where has the year gone? I haven't even started my christmas shopping list, much less the actual shopping.

I could talk about how this weekend I complete my first semester of graduate studies (ok so it's only 1 class, but semester sounds more impressive) and I only have 12 more to go! Woo hoo. At my current rate of study (and considering I want summer semesters off) I will be done in like 8 years.

I could talk about the "helpless" desk here at work who completely cracked me and my boss up with their TOTAL ineptitude tonight. EUREKA - THAT is what I'll talk about (ignore my previous ramblings, although you can still think my nephew is TOO CUTE!)

SCENE 1, Act 1: Cheap Labor - You Get What You Pay For.

Boss on speaker phone, Me at her side (aka US): Hello. We need some help with our FTP site. I have uploaded some large files and our partner in Australia is having difficulty accessing it.

HELPLESS: {silence}

US: Hello??

HELPLESS: um, yeah.

US: Do you know how to work with our FTP site?

HELPLESS: um...no, but I'm not the only one here.

US: Okay, so we're going to email you the link and maybe you and whoever else is there can check it out okay?

HELPLESS: sure.

Me: Are you seeing the page not found message?

HELPLESS: Um..I'm not actually AT my computer.

Boss: Okay, we'll wait.

HELPLESS: I'm not AT my computer.

Boss: Yeah, I got that. I figured you could go to your computer now and I'll wait.

HELPLESS: Um....

Boss{beginning to get irritated, I'm starting to smother giggles}: This IS the HELPDESK right?

HELPLESS: Yeah.

Boss: So...???

HELPLESS: Well, you see, when I'm here at night I share a desk with HELPLESS 2 and it is across the room and I can't reach the keyboard and be on the phone at the same time, so...blah blah blah blah blah blah

Boss (totally exasperated, I'm now bent over snorting with laughter): Okay, I really don't need to know anymore. I've sent you the link can you get someone who IS at a computer and can reach a phone to help me?

HELPLESS: Um...yeah. {hold music}

Meanwhile...back at the ranch...boss and I figure out the link is wrong, send the email back to Australia and get a response back from them {hold music still playing}... response from Australia - have access - strange it didn't ask for a login or password. (That's just scary - talk about a security gap)

We hang up and call back, since hold music has continued entire time.

HELPLESS 2: Helpdesk.

Boss: Nevermind - we figured it out.

HELPLESS 1 {In background}: - oh...I just tried to get to site and it was down.

Boss: No, actually, we just had the wrong link address.

HELPLESS 1: Oh...um...yeah...that could have been it too.

Boss {crossing her eyes at me, me with tears on my cheeks from suppressed giggles}: Well...you may want to think about getting a cordless phone or making sure you're at a computer when people call. Just a thought.

{BOSS HANGS UP}

Boss {Still exasperated, but starting to giggle to}: Okay is it just me? Like - do we NOT have the technology to handle this? {giggle} Press speaker phone and go to computer. {laugh} Bring laptop to phone. {full out belly laugh} Offer to call us back from phone BY a computer. Holy Cow. {approaching hysterical giggles} I mean, really, is it me?? {wipes tears away} I'm so DONE tonight. I'm outta here.

Have I told you how much I LOVE my boss? She's the bomb.

So - not sure if this was the stimulating post I had in my mind this morning. But it filled up some space...and I was amused, even if you weren't. And in MY world, that's all that matters.

Fossils:The Devil's Handiwork

Continuing on my religion commentary from my last post...

Hopefully all will find this as funny (and smart) as I do. No offense intended.

Holy Holy Holy

Today I attended ANOTHER funeral. I seem to be "of an age" where this occurs more and more. Now, those of you who have read some of my blog, or seen my replies to my linked blogs when religion becomes a topic know I'm a little anti-organized religion.

Hey, don't get me wrong. If that is what gets you through a tough day, week, month, year - God Bless (ha). But I am having a hard time finding any of the peace I used to find in a simple church service. I get caught up in the hypocrisy, the commercialization, the subliminal messages, etc.

Today, for example, I attended a Catholic funeral mass. Now Catholicism is a funny thing. No offense should be taken by any of you devout Catholics out there. There is quite a lot of beauty in a Catholic service. Steeped in tradition and in ceremony, it can be very moving. But I have to say, congregations don't seem to stop and smell the roses much in these services...I mean you guys have got assembly line communion down to an art. I keep thinking if they can find a way to serve the "host" on a conveyor belt to get through it quicker they will. Geez. And those memorized responses! Nevermind that those of us not raised Catholic have no idea when to sit, stand, or kneel, but then you spit out those responses at like 200 words/minute so I can't even understand what is being said? I looked up some of the responses once, and they were beautiful! Like poetry....but without cadence or emotion, you could be reading me a grocery list!

Now, on top of this, there was only about 2 minutes spent on the person who died. I mean, this could have been anyone's funeral. If there hadn't been a picture of her on the front of the program I wouldn't have known if I was in the right church. And why, oh why, does the priest feel that a funeral mass is the right place to lecture people on their religious habits? Aren't we supposed to be celebrating a life? saying good-bye? forgive and forget? I really don't need to have someone tell me that if I participate in more church activities I'll have a quicker route to heaven than those who don't. Seriously.

As I sat in the church and listened to Ave Maria (great music of faith is I find as close as I get to a real religious experience), I looked up at all of the icons - Christ on the cross, Mary in her alcove, the many stained glass depictions of religious scenes. And I wondered, really, does God look down on us from heaven and just wonder...HOW THE HELL DID THESE PEOPLE GET THIS SO WRONG???? They are so embroiled in ceremony and memorized scripts...not to mention totally high on the incense (What is THAT all about anyway?) that they've forgotten the basic teachings of the "christ" (or if you prefer prophet) Jesus.

Let's just try to boil religion down to the following:

1. Be good to one another. You don't really have to LOVE your neighbor. Just treat them as if you did. And if you do something bad to someone - don't ask God or your priest for forgiveness or penance - ask that person. Seriously.
   
2. Be honest. Don't lie or cheat. Really, this is just basic respect and responsibility.
   
3. Care for those weaker than you - children, elderly, family, friends, strangers. Just give a little back.
   
4. Try to leave the world a better place than you found it.
   
5. Take a little time every day to find a moment of happiness and gratitude for your life. Give a shout out to your god, goddess, or - if you prefer - your family or friends, and express this moment to them.

That's it. That's my religion*. Anybody wanna join?

*Offer is subject to the following terms: No membership fees or requirements. No newsletter. No ceremony. No memorization. No special holidays. No gifts. No returns. No iconography. No statues. No pulpits. No leaders. No followers. No theme music. No preaching. Absolutely no hypocrisy. Maybe a little judgment here and there. Sarcasm and swearing allowed. Eye rolling required.

Define a "Sick" Day

This morning I woke up with a killer headache. After assessing my work schedule I decided to stay home and try to sleep it off.

I'm crackberried up, so I don't think there is truly any real "off" day anymore unless I absolutely power down. I decided to put it on silent and go back to sleep and I only checked it once or twice during the morning. Feeling better in afternoon, I took part in more active emailing and also a conference call.

I remember when a sick day literally meant you were off the grid. Unless your boss was a real slave driver and tracked you down by phone on a declared sick day, you were off the hook.

I am a self-recognized workaholic. Right now BOTH my hubby and I are working long hours (this is a boring recurring theme in my blog!) and it is a more interesting process to stay in touch with one another and get in that quality time.

Tonight we had a meeting scheduled with a financial advisor, but hubby has work crises and must work late. I'm taking my drugged up head out to the appt and am happy to carry the load. We're really partnering to get things done these days.

Last week my friend, colleague, and sometimes conscience Amybow put out a post reflecting on my horrific work habits. I'm not sure I can explain myself appropriately to people who have children or more demands than I do at home. There is a sense of satisfaction I get from accomplishing lingering work tasks that doing a load of laundry at home just can't compare to. I am well-paid and well-recognized at my job and I admit to reveling in feeling needed there. I harbor no illusions that should I get hit by a bus tomorrow, the company would go on just fine without me. In contrast, my husband and family would not - I mean they would, but it would be hard. I've read Tuesdays with Morrie, I've heard all the statements about people who never regret spending too little time at work when they are old and gray. But, despite the fact that it sounds defensive...it does give me satisfaction.

I guess it comes down to choice. When it is someone else's choice or priority that drives me to work long hours, that is tough. When it is MY choice and I've weighed it against all my other options for my time that day, I'm okay with it. There are not many jobs/companies that give you the freedom to make that choice, and 9 times out of 10, it is my choice.

So, how I define a "sick"day is feeling crappy and feeling that it's okay to stay home in bed today. It's also okay to keep my crackberry near by and participate as I feel is necessary in the work day.

Reality check anyone? (be kind...but be honest...my ego can take it)

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Wow - I've been off line for a few days now...so a quick blog of random items.

Family came and went. Of the weekend, Friday was best day - and when I went to bed so happy to have had a laughter filled evening, hubby wisely said..."well, that was undoubtedly the high point...now we'll stare at each other for a couple more days..."

Performance anxiety. Today I had to give out three more evaluations. I wimped out a bit on the harsh criticism after last week. Funny how different the view is from either side of the evaluation form.

Rich woman-poor woman. I was wondering why my pocketbook felt so empty...then I reviewed all the stockpiled expense receipts in my bag and found I was owed $3800. I'm sure I'm actually owed more, but who can keep track of all those little expenses. As long as I get back the big bucks for the hotels and multi-person meals, I'm cool...and so is hubby to recoup those visa bills!

DVR overdrive. With all the hours we've been working our DVR is running near capacity. I foresee some marathons in my future. I think I can schedule something in on .... December 26?


BFF. How funny is it that Shari had to send me a specific note to let me know she gave me an award on her blog? My self-obsession must be slipping that I didn't even catch my own name in her post... Thanks Shari! As my hubby says, you are "cosmicly (comicly) linked" with me!

Overused phrases: I have to protest. I love a good trendy term as much as the next person, but this "That's how I roll" thing is getting out of hand. I don't think there is anywhere I haven't heard it. It reminds me of the old valley girl craze back when I was but a little chicky in highschool and I was taken with the "gag me with a spoon" phraseology. Ugh!

Too Many Acronyms. Okay, I work in a consulting firm that serves the government. I'm fully aware of the penchant for shortening everything to the simplest acronym. I find it particularly painful when the nicey-nice person who works with me and would NEVER swear in front of me...a GIRL... but often says NFW like we don't know there is a four-letter word in the middle. And I had just gotten used to LMAO and now there is LQTM. Thank god that Google can help me search out definitions for these. I wonder if we have the power to begin a new acronym here on my blog? One of my friend T's favorites is SFPs. Stupid Fucking People. Now that is an acronym worth using.

Last Random Thought. A tribute to my hubby (yet again) who not only cooked up a storm for a house full of my family this weekend, but he was patient and lovable host, photographer extraordinaire, and beer brewer professor all in one. Who could ask for more?